It was a dark and stormy night. Everything was still. There was a guy sitting in the bushes. A carriage rode by and on that carriage were some very angry people. They didn't know the man was there, so they began to yell at each other. Lightning struck and the woman noticed the man in the bushes. She yelled and told him to come out of the bushes. He started walking in the opposite direction. When he came upon a creek he could still hear the yelling woman, but very faintly and it only seemed to grow quieter. He stuck his hands in the water and it was very cold. It was then that he briefly considered suicide, but he couldn't decide on a way to do it so he just kept walking alongside the creek. After a while it quit raining and he decided to walk back towards the road, but before he got there something bright flew through the trees. He walked over towards it and saw that it was an egg. He then tried to crack that egg, and a dragon spilled out.
DRAGON: Hello, I am the dragon of chaos.
GUY: I'm trying to get back to the road.
DRAGON OF CHAOS: Which direction is it?
GUY: *points*
DRAGON OF CHAOS: Why do you want to go there?
GUY: I don't really know, it probably leads to a town.
DRAGON OF CHAOS: You don't know if it does or not?
GUY: No, not really.
DRAGON OF CHAOS: How do you know there's a road there then? Have you been there before?
GUY: Yes I was just there.
DRAGON OF CHAOS: How did you get there?
GUY: I don't know.
DRAGON OF CHAOS: What do you mean?
GUY: I mean I don't know. Listen, how did you end up here?
DRAGON OF CHAOS: I couldn't see anything, I had no idea what was happening.
GUY: We're both so clueless
DRAGON OF CHAOS: Yeah
GUY: Would you like to go to the road with me?
DRAGON OF CHAOS: Yeah
So Guy and the dragon walked back to the road. When they arrived the sun was beginning to rise.
DRAGON: I think I can fly, but I haven't tried yet.
GUY: You should try
DRAGON: Alright
The dragon flew a little bit.
GUY: Alright, let me get on you.
Guy got on the dragon and they flew up really high. They saw some smokestacks coming from a house in the middle of the forest, and decided to head towards it. When they landed in front a big man walked outside.
BIG MAN: Go away.
The Dragon of Chaos then blasted him with a chaos beam and licked up his ashes. When he swallowed them he shivered a little. Guy went into the house and found a beautiful woman sleeping on the couch with a book on her lap. He awoke her with a kiss and then they had sex. The dragon gave her a potion which shortens pregnancy to nine hours. A few hours later they had sex again. Then in the evening as she became ready to birth the child Guy carried her up to the bathtub. The baby was stuck so they got the dragon to stick his tail through the bathroom window and slap it onto her baby to push it out. He did and all they heard was a cracking noise. Guy grew impatient and reached in to pull it out. It wasn't a baby, it was another egg.
GUY: I'm going to crack this egg a little more so the dragon can get out.
DRAGON OF CHAOS: Don't you do it.
GUY: I'm going to do it.
Guy cracked the egg and the dragon inside of it was the Dragon of Water. This is Guys least favorite element so he decided to just kill the dragon. He was really tired by then since he hadn't slept at all the night before.
GUY: Hey look, I'm a little tired.
DRAGON OF CHAOS: Why did you kill that dragon?
GUY: Why does it matter? Do you really fucking care about a stupid dragon of water?
DRAGON OF CHAOS: You're so insensitive.
GUY: Fuck off, I'm going to go to sleep. Hey lady, care for another round before bedtime?
LADY: No, you killed my dragon.
GUY: Fuck both of you, fuck your mothers. I'm going to go downstairs.
Guy walked downstairs and crawled into bed and it was there that he once again considered suicide, but he fell asleep instead. When he woke up neither the Dragon of Chaos or the Lady were there anymore. When he went outside he found one of the dragons poops and he started crying. He ended up living in that house for twenty years or so until he decided to head into town to find a wife. He found one and they stayed together all their lives. They were only sort of happy.
